(no subject)

I posted this on a message board for those whose mothers are gone.
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Tomorrow night, at about 10 pm Pacific time, will be the one year mark of when my mom was killed.

This means that I’ve had my first birthday, first holidays, first mother’s day without her. In addition I’ve started my first professional job and gotten married without her here. It’s sucked. Especially those first months.

But I am not allowing myself to fall into despair this weekend. Instead, my husband and I are planning to go camping. My mother wouldn’t have wanted me to put aside my life to be sad for us. I know, because a week after my grandmother died, my mom and I went to a flea market we went to almost every year, because sorrow does not mean that life stops.

So I am sad, yes, and there’s a loss inside of me that will always be there, but I keep on with my life and live the way she raised me - strong.
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