So, um, yeah....

[froggy_dear]

Yesterday afternoon was a hard one. British Columbia I was able to deal with, though it makes me wary of chances for grad school. I should have applied to more programs.... upped my odds. But getting that call about not being an advisor really socked me one. I'd put all my eggs in one basket, so to speak. I was expecting and pretty much taking for granted that I would have that position this summer. Now I'm not sure what I'm going to do. It's tempting to not bother getting a job and just make a hardcore effort at putting items on my mom's online store. It's also tempting to basically work at my mother's store, keeping it open the days that they do not. However, this last would mean that I would have to live in Falls, at least half time, and that thought doesn't thrill me.

Whatever happens, I'm not going to seek out a job until I know if anything is happening next fall. So much depends on that in my life.... it sucks!

I'm trying to figure out what I'll do if I don't get in somewhere. Move to Seattle, get residency, reapply? Try to find a career? Move back home and live off my mom? I wouldn't do the last and the second scares me. I don't know how to find a career. I know how to find jobs, lots of crappy jobs, but I don't know squat about careers. Yet it would make much sense. I should give myself the "I'm qualified for many things" speech again.

I'm going to try and stop dwelling on this, okay? Okay!

Now it is today, there are things to be done, and why am I up at this hour? I should be in bed! though I am not tired....